Narcissistic Personality Disorder counselling
At Safe Place Therapy, we are experienced in helping anyone with NPD
Do you have a partner who was charming and pleasant when you first met, but now is increasingly selfish, dismissive of your needs, puts you down, manipulates you to get what they want, or is outright abusive? Or maybe does that sometimes sound like you?
We are here to help
Everyone has the right to a decent and positive life. That’s the same if you have a partner or parent with NPD, or if you yourself have the condition.
We do not judge at Safe Place Therapy. We help. There are well proven and very effective counselling and therapeutic approaches to the many issues around NPD.
What’s more, by reading this you have already taken a positive step towards a better more healthy life.
So, just pick up the phone or contact us by Skype, Zoom or email for a wholly confidential conversation and we’ll help get you on the road to better relationships, whatever your situation is today.
Many clients come to Safe Place Therapy looking for answers to questions like these:
- How do I deal with emotional abuse from my partner?
- How do I deal with a controlling or manipulative partner?
- Is my partner a narcissist (someone with NPD)?
- How do I break up with someone with NPD?
Many adults have the experience of being in a romantic relationship with someone who shows narcissist behaviours, like emotional abuse combined with controlling and manipulation.
Other adults find issues in later life having been parented by a father or mother with NPD behaviours.
Sometimes, the two go together – you had an NPD parent and you keep ending up with NPD partners, or you yourself are exhibiting these behaviours.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has profound effects on anyone experiencing the behaviours associated with it. We discuss NPD briefly in other areas of the Safe Place Therapy site. Here we are going to dig a little deeper.
So, this page is for you, if you are trying to deal with an NPD partner, a narcissist parent, or if you are asking yourself the question ‘am I an NPD sufferer?’ and you are yourself looking for help.
It’s worth stating that anyone with these questions can contact us by phone, Skype or Zoom if they feel more comfortable. Also, since we are all coping with the current virus issues, there’s no reason to attend our practice in person.
If you think you have a partner or parent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or are concerned that you have the condition yourself, then the tell-tale signs of NPD in an individual are:
- Lack of empathy for other people
- A need to be admired
- A high opinion of themselves.
- Intolerance of criticism
However, these are just indicators and it’s important not to attempt to ‘diagnose’ your partner or yourself. This needs to be done by a trained and qualified professional.
NPD is a type of personality disorder which means that someone is focused on getting what they want in life, and bolstering their self-image, with little regard to the impact on others. If a partner or child has what they want, the person with NPD will take it and not worry about the cost or consequences for the other persons’ needs.
A full-blown NPD sufferer will not treat a partner or child as a fully rounded human being, rather they will be more like a possession, pet or puppet. They will provide the NPD sufferer with things they want, like praise, money, sexual gratification, status, housework, security, etc.
People with NPD also sometimes believe themselves to be entitled to special treatment and that rules do not apply to them, only to other people.
It’s worth saying that some people with NPD are highly successful and can be found in the boardrooms of large corporations, in politics and especially in entertainment and the media. These are all settings where they can play out their need for admiration, grandiosity and status.
Although apparently confident on the outside, people with NPD are also very insecure and will react very badly to criticism, attempts to leave a relationship, being ignored etc.
Some people NPD are highly emotionally or even physically abusive too – they will pick verbal or actual fights with partners or children, first for the thrill and self-validation of winning the fight but also (due to their insecurity) because at the end of the fight, the partner or child will return to forging, loving and praising them, which mitigates the NPD sufferer’s feelings of insecurity.
Since this type of NPD sufferer wants and needs these fights, if you are a partner or child, then expect to be ‘love-bombed’ in between them, as the person with NPD wants to make sure you are still around for the next fight they want and need to pick.
At Safe Place Therapy, we do a lot of work with partners or grown-up children of NPD sufferers, as well as with clients who have the disorder, to understand this cycle of abuse – love bombing and then more abuse, so that everyone concerned can break out of it.
We also work with people who have NPD to understand and deal with their condition and move forward towards positive and healthy relationships. We are never judgmental. NPD is a condition that usually arises due to childhood trauma and people with NPD are entitled to understanding and help.
The exact causes of NPD are complex and varied but may include some amount of genetic predisposition and certainly include issues around the early years of childhood, such as being poorly parented, growing up in an insecure home, being the subject of emotional, physical or sexual abuse, or dealing as a young child with an unreliable caregiver, such as one with mental health or substance abuse issues.
At safe place therapy, we are not judgemental. If you have come to this site because you want answers to the question “Do I have a narcissistic personality disorder?” or “am I a narcissist?”, we know you are almost certainly dealing with deep childhood traumas that many people will never have suffered and can have no idea how damaging and distressing they were.
We are equally here to help those clients who come to us with this condition as those clients who come because of relationship issues with a partner or parent who has these issues. Usually, counselling and therapy to understand the root causes of NPD in a person, dealing with the trauma and then building empathy skills, can prove highly effective.
People suffering from NPD have deep-rooted insecurities which they are struggling to deal with. The apparent arrogance and grandiosity associated with NPD are defense mechanisms. Behind the bluster and apparent self-confidence is a sad, traumatized child.
Since the NPD sufferer is trying to cope with these conflicting feelings, they may also have issues with substance abuse, such as alcoholism, drug-taking, etc, eating disorders or anxiety disorders. All these associated conditions are also defense mechanisms, and all require addressing
At Safe Place Therapy, we are experienced in helping anyone with NPD and any of these associated other conditions too.